the beloved's diary

2008-02-29T05:15:00.000-08:00

so..im in acjc already..really happy..haha..when i received the news, i was so overjoyed; no amt of words is able to describe fully what i felt at that time

daddy god, i just thank you so much for all u have done..even during the times where i am faithless; during the times when everything seem to go wrong, u are faithful. i thank you for loving me so much and i continue to rest in your love for me - in that love that NEVER fails. And even during the times where in abounds, i thank you that ur grace super abounds. amen

i know and believe that you who have started a good work in me, shall perfect it until the perfect day

2008-02-18T04:09:00.000-08:00

Daddy, i just believe that You will not let me down; You will be faithful to see it through. Amen

You who have begun a good work in me shall perfect it until the perfect day

2008-01-31T07:55:00.000-08:00

so i got 11 pts for Os...
i believe that i will be able to go to acjc in jesus' name
though it isnt something i expected, but i believe that everything will work out for my good

Daddy, i really cannot stand myself making so many mistakes...why cant i be able to do it atleast decently...its really irritating....i just keep seeing so many mistakes on my part..ppl say it ok but to me, its really not ok..its been 3 weeks and i am still unable to do things decently..im just so tired, irritated and angry..but daddy, u just let ur grace flow in this area of my weakness and let ur strength be perfect in it. daddy, i also pray that u would give me a fresh revelation of your love for me and a fresh revelation of resting in you. Amen

Daddy, i believe that it is you who placed this desire in my heart and you will see me through it. Amen. And just let me see ur goodness and ur faithfullness towards me again.

2008-01-10T06:27:00.000-08:00

daddy, im just starting to get blown away by ur goodness in my life. u are seriously so amazing - no words can ever come close to describing it. looking back, u have been leading me each step of the way and although times did get tough, i know u were there with me, bringing me through it. i just thank you for all u have done and will be doing in my life. i also want to thank you for placing such wonderful ppl in my life. they are really so precious to me. surely goodness and mercies shall hunt me down all the days of my life. amen.

jesus, i just love u so so much - i love because u first poured ur love on me

2008-01-05T10:03:00.000-08:00

so a new year has begun and my acjc orientation has just ended.
this is a really very big step for me..but i believe that jesus, u will see me through it
i just saw how much change are there in my og....they may not be the best but jesus, u really have done an amazing work..whatever change that occured, i believe, is because u
and i just thank you jesus - for placing myron, felicia and joel in my life...without them, i dun think i could've survived my orientation...they are just such amazing people.
whatever i am going through now, i believe everything will work out for good - especially for me.
my trust is in u and in u alone.
i know that i will not be the same anymore.
Amen.

the path of the righteous will keep on shining brighter and brighter
You who have started a good work in me, will perfect it until the perfect day
blessed be Your name
Amen

2007-12-28T07:36:00.000-08:00

Lord, refresh me; pour Your love on me all over again.
im just so tired...Your love is all that i need and i just lean on that love of Yours

2007-12-17T09:15:00.000-08:00

i believe that it is now the season for me to receive, receive and receive so i can grow, grow much more in the Lord
i know that i will just be so blessed in arrow..pastor benjamin is really an anointed pastor; under his leadership, i believe that i will grow so much more

Lord, just reveal to me more of Jesus and His finished work. Amen.

Let not my eyes be on myself, but let it be on Jesus
Behold Him in His beauty and let me be transformed into His image
Amen.

2007-12-09T09:27:00.000-08:00

I've decided - to let go and let God

Show me that You are faithful and You will see me through it

2007-12-09T04:08:00.000-08:00

my trust is in Lord, it is in Your hands
i really cant take it anymore..just so tired..there is nth i can do - only You can change things
i just allow u to work in this area..i shall not care anymore...

2007-12-02T06:54:00.000-08:00

back from camp...
camp ended just so fast...but it was so awesome - His presence
its another turning point for me....so many seeds planted
i will never forget this camp, and that happening..without jesus, it will never happen...right place, right time
i believe a change has just happened inside of me
...just love Him so much....

what pastor dan preached; the voices we hear determines our path...it is really true
when we listen to His voice, everything will just work out, everything will be good

now its time to move on....this camp isnt the end; its just the beginning of a whole new journey
even if it is tough, i know that everything will work out for good, He will see me through it

its the power of Your presence and glory of Your greatness that has the power to change my life

2007-11-10T04:47:00.000-08:00

I just thank You that You had paid the price on the cross on calvary and so all these things shall NOT persist, anymore, in my body; I am made whole by Your blood; there is no reason for all these things to continue living in my body.

I wondered why must this happen during this period....but I realised - it doesnt matter how or why it happen for this is the time for His power to be worked in me.

Never leaving me nor forsaking me

2007-11-05T02:50:00.000-08:00

It doesn't even matter if it was excellent, good, average, bad, or even poor; i believe that it is still blessed and everything will work out for good

Even when circumstances fail me, You will never fail me

2007-10-20T06:30:00.000-07:00

its 2 more days till it begins
time really flies, and in 2/3 more mnths time, its gonna be a new beginning

Lord, i pray that Your grace will deeply abound in this period of my life. I thank You that Your grace is more than sufficient for me. Let me be constantly resting in You and Your finished work. Amen.

I'm under grace

2007-09-29T07:37:00.000-07:00

A person who wishes to be different in order to be special is not really being different at all; because what motives his wanting to be different is actually the desire for approval

2007-09-22T07:15:00.000-07:00

is life all about studying?
is life all about doing well in ur exams?
is life all about being successful in the future?
is life all about playing?
is life all about enjoying yourself?
is life all about being with friends?

whats the point of chasing the things you desire?
whats the meaning of life?
everything we do....what is it exactly for?
we will return to dust eventually
all our memories...will it be carried with us when we leave this world?

Jesus, open my eyes; reveal to me the truths that u see i need, amen

Your the only thing that i need
let me just rest in Your embrace

2007-09-18T02:37:00.000-07:00

Jesus, i believe that her hand will be healed in Your name

Your grace has rasied me up
Your truth has set me free

2007-09-12T03:14:00.000-07:00

it is selfish for one to say that he/she suffers more than others

2007-09-10T21:46:00.000-07:00

i dunno why did it turn out this way...but lord, i know that ur goodness is not limited by it.
i will still praise u and love u; i will not judge ur goodness by my circumstances.
i believe that everything will work out well somehow.

changes....something that is unavoidable
at times, there are desires to not to want anything to change
but it is impossible

the beloved of christ

2007-08-26T22:38:00.000-07:00

so far prelims have been rather ok...left emath paper 2 tmr.....today paper wasnt that difficult..but it was easy.....
in any case...Jesus, its all in ur hands

2007-08-15T20:09:00.001-07:00

i will still praise you in the good times and in the bad times
your goodness is not based on my circumstances
no matter what happens, i believe that everything will work for the good of me

2007-08-13T09:40:00.000-07:00

sheesh..wats with my previous post....haha

thankyou Jesus for ur Word i received last sat

all of it will become best wine

2007-08-09T09:56:00.000-07:00

i realise there is so many things in this world that i dun know and i dun understand.....
this world is so big....theres too many things in this world... our mind will not be able to comprehend eveything that is in this world

ppl are all made so differently...all put in totally different families with totally different backgrounds and all experience totally different things, lead totally different lives..with totally diffent thinkings, beliefs, characters, personality, likings, and more....
yet knowing this fact...they strive to live a life similar to others while losing themselves....
wat are they seeking..?
an answer?

the world.....so filled with mysteries which do not have any answers.......
wats the true meaning of it all?
so many questions and so many mysteries...yet - no answers to them all......

2007-08-02T00:25:00.000-07:00

today is the 2nd day of elearning ( but sec 4s still have to attend school)
these 2 days without the sec 1 to 3s are rather nice...the campus is sooo quiet..which i like it.....during recess, the tables arnt dirty, which is quite nice sight and the queue is sooo much shorter.....how i wish the sec 1 to 3s ahve elearning until the end of the year...it would so nice.....but i guess that wun happen....haha

prelims are nearing already......time passes by so fast..but Jesus, u are my acceleration and my wisdom...its all gonna be easy

You are faithful

2007-07-30T05:58:00.000-07:00

sheesh...wats wrong with my sis man...always act as if this is her com..everytime let her use..always take advantage...when i want to use back she still want to hog it and when i give her somemore time to finsih up what she is doing, she always drags it and act as if she is correct...why does she magnify her importance man...the world doesnt revolve around her

sheesh..cant stand it

2007-07-28T09:49:00.000-07:00

haha...i dunno wat came over me when i wrote the previous post..haha...i still have so many problems yet to be solved...but all these problems are with Jesus...

really thank lydia for talking and listening to me....actually i really thank Jesus for placing such wonderful leaders over me.......

My studies are gonna be like water , turning into wine - best wine
It is going to be so easy; no self effort needed

2007-07-27T08:11:00.000-07:00

People really need the love of Jesus; only Jesus satisfy

Daddy...i pray for all those ppl that they will receive a new revelation of - and experience afresh - of Your love for them because Daddy, i noe that You are the one that they truly need.

Daddy, i thank you for what You have done in my life and what You are going to do in my life for i know that my life is just gonna shine brighter and brighter until the perfect day. No words in this world can ever express my love and my gratitude towards You

2007-07-24T02:52:00.000-07:00

thoughts have been running through my mind abt next yr....
but i believe that watever happens, it's gonna be a new beginning for me...

prelims are in 3 weeks time....time passes by so fast....all there is to do now is to juz study study study...and of cuz for me....its not gonna be my own effort

Lord, my trust is in u for not only my exams, but the other areas in my life
You are faithful; You cant deny Yourself
Im gonna reflect Your glory

2007-07-17T03:06:00.000-07:00

i thank jesus for placing kailin in my life...she is really a blessing to me.. :)

As He is, so am i in this world...this phrase....so simple yet so powerful...
because He paid the price at the cross and is now my high priest forever, I will forver have a right standing with God....surely goodness and mercy shall hunt me down the rest of my life

i believe that it shall come to past because my Jesus is faithful

delighting myself in Him

2007-07-06T05:50:00.000-07:00

Thank you Jesus...You are my everything...You will never ever fail me for I am Your child....Surely goodness and mercy shall hunt me down the rest of my life

2007-06-26T01:53:00.000-07:00

So school has already started and the hols have ended
to my surprise, school wasnt that bad...i initially thought that i would absolutely dread it....
last sat......i wonder why i allowed all those thoughts to get to me.....hmmz..... but i believe things will change.....constantly renew my mind and meditate on the Word.....those who know their God shall be strong and do mighty exploits

a new revelation i received after readings a sean's( the worship leader) blog....the post on callused knuckles......so true.......

a soul that had been denied of hope eventually rejects hope itself

Lord....I thank You for You are my hope; my confident expectation of good to come

2007-06-17T04:45:00.001-07:00

on fri i had planetshakers concert...haha.....it was quite nice.......
pastor prince's msg was really awesome....a msg without condemnation and full of grace and love
in the end..... there were so many souls added to His kingdom....their lives will nvr be the same...such an amazing sight....

You are the great I AM

2007-06-13T09:33:00.000-07:00

hmm..quite awhile sinced i blogged....i had church camp last week...
it was great....this camp have like a totally different anointing
after this camp i cant help but fall in love with jesus even more...
i belive that my life isnt gonna be the same frm now on.....
my path is gonna shine brighter and brighter; more glorious each day man

right place right time...
jesus is always faithful

2007-06-06T23:54:00.000-07:00

haha....so far my week has been a rather fun 1...hhaa...
tmr is my camp already...so fast...haha..cant wait for it man....its gonna be a awesome...i juz noe it...haha
this week i started on my work...i realise i still have so much more work to do...hhaa...this hols is a busy 1....hhaa

2007-06-04T21:51:00.000-07:00

Jesus is the answer

2007-06-02T09:21:00.000-07:00

(actually this post is suppsoed to be posted on 3rd june midnite...but dunno why they put 2nd june.....haha...oh wells)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CASSIE!

haha...may ur year be filled with happy and joyful quacks!
haha u shall be blessed with the BLESSINGS in deutronomy 28. (AMEN! haha)
whatever giants u may face, they will all become bread for u; nothing will prosper against u :)
im really blessed to have u as a freind and i thank Jesus that - for placing u in my life :)

2007-05-30T22:41:00.000-07:00

Happy Bday Xueqi!

hmmz...i realise changes are really inevitable....be it a short or long period of time....haha...seeing things change so drastically in such short periods of time...amazing isnt it?
haha...but the funny thing is - life still goes on no matter what happens

2007-05-28T04:03:00.000-07:00

so today the 1st try of my mt o lvl has ended.....wasnt too happy with the 2nd paper though...but nvm...its past...haha
next 2 days i will still have physics and chem o lvl prac till i can relax a little bit....these last few weeks have been rather tiring and busy....exams and preparations for Os......time seem to pass so fast...although its only a few weeks.....

i realise my posts usually are very short...haha.....always have this little to write.....cuz nth else interesting to write abt..haha.....

2007-05-25T00:28:00.000-07:00

i juz dun understand why some ppl live life as if there is no god when there is a god that truly cares and will never ever leave us nor forsake us.....what have they been receiving into their hearts and mind frm the start? its really sad......well i guess the seeds are planted in stony grounds....

ok...on a happier note....the hols are here....haha...although there is alot of work and there is still school next week...but its still the hols.....can rest awhile...not so stressful...hah...
today's spa was easier than expected....experiments did not take long to do - simple experiment....so i guess i will do quite well for it..haha (i will do well in jesus name)

i really love jesus.....His perfect love casts out all fear....He is the true and living god....christianity isnt a religion...its a relationship....i wonder which other so called religion juz needs us to believe and that the god would actually come down to earth to die for us...? Furthermore, this simple act of us just believing and resting in Him can cause miracles to literally happen.
some of u may think its absurb and ridiculous...but u will nvr understand until u truly experience His perfect love that will nvr ever fail

God is love

2007-05-23T00:36:00.000-07:00

ytd was the last performance i will ever have in this school...so it was quite a memorable 1...though it is tiring to perform in the nite,reaching back so late and having school early in the morning for 2 days straight. although i thouhgt that it was was rather stupid and selfish to put the syf nite juz 1 wk be4 the chinese Os, i chose to enjoy myself in this last performance since i dun have much of a choice rather than treating it as a drag.

it was really shocking to see melinda out of american idol....she is the best singer ever in this season...but i do hope that jordin wins this season since melinda is out already....jordin's voice is really crazy......she is only 17 and already, she has such a voice....its juz crazy

His grace is more than enough

2007-05-19T07:58:00.000-07:00

after mid yrs still quite busy cuz of o lvls....hah
mid yrs was ratehr ok....4 a1, 3 b4 and 2 c5....
not say very gd...but its really the grace of god.....having to only study for each paper a day before....really thank jesus
this exam taught me some things....haha
just gonna rest and not strive

gonna go "there" expecting and i shall receive till overflowing

2007-05-10T20:54:00.000-07:00

today marks the end of my mid yrs......time really flies - the exam had been going on for 2 weeks already.
i realised....changes are inevitable.....juz dun understand why things would turn out this way.....hmm?
but shant think abt it so much...haha...juz rest in His embrace

Jesus is love; perfect love casts out fear
So grateful for Jesus

2007-05-07T20:53:00.000-07:00

the mid yrs are endign soon....so far the papers are rather ok....everyday go home, rest a little then start preparing for next paper...it almost seem like a routine......
but in anycase....my trust is in U and my cares are upon U, i shall not fear.

i wonder why ppl discuss abt the paper after the exams....as if talking abt it could change the paper...haha

some ppl know Him but yet, they don't know Him
its really very sad....
ha

2007-04-29T22:53:00.000-07:00

its been a long time since i last post.
not long ago my exams juz started. i really am thankful i went to church ytd. it was really a word in season for me. im juz gonna trust jesus for the rest of my exams and not work but juz believe that it is all gonna turn out gd for the law is not of faith.

jesus is really the greatest gift of all

2007-04-24T05:35:00.000-07:00

事情总算有个了结了- 是我大惊小怪。

im not trying to abolish any memory or watsoever. im juz removing wat i said because i noe that the words that comes out of my mouth have power and i shall only speak good of my situation.

2007-04-23T01:32:00.000-07:00

Some situations seem so overwhelming. But i believe U will make a way for me - im putting my trust and the situations in Ur hands now.
Watever U do, i believe that it will turn out for the good of me.

Abiding in Him

2007-04-19T01:51:00.000-07:00

Sometimes things do not stay the same as they were before.

wat is the meaning of human existence?

2007-04-18T01:27:00.000-07:00

Blogging. What exactly is the use of it anyway? (Yes, an irony it may seem, since im blogging this down)
A blog is a place where ppl write their feelings, experiences. But why do they have to post it up for nearly everyone to see?
I still cannot comprehend the use of a blog - letting ppl know one's feelings and the problems that he is facing - when the things u write can be used against u or for ur gd. And yet knowing that it could be used by other ppl, he still continues blogging.
I guess sometimes ppl are unable to find a place where they can voice themselves and thus resorting to blogging. Or blogging is a way to indirectly tell another person what u want to say when u do not have a courage to. It could be, to a certain extent, the blogger could be an attention seeker - trying so hard to seek other ppl's attention.
Although much had been said, the purpose of blogging remains a mystery to me up till now.

In life, many ppl look to many different places to satisfy themselves. But what are they actually trying to seek?

2007-04-17T01:53:00.000-07:00

A perfectionist.This is what most ppl want to be. However, in reality, no one can be a perfectionist due to the fact that each and everyone of us have flaws. One may strive to be a perfectionist but what follows it is only failures, failures and more failures. And not forgetting the emotional hurt that comes with it.
Im not saying that one cannot be able to attain perfection when doing some things but attaining perfection in every single thing u do (including ur thoughts, ur behavior etc) is impossible, if he wants to be perfect.
So why do ppl still want to strive to be perfect? Sometimes is really a mystery - only the person himself will noe. It could be that they are trying to avoid failures so that they will not be hurt in a way or another? Or that they think that if they ever become perfect, they would be happy and satisfied?
Whatever the case may be, i seriously dun care. So live with it.

haha

haha...i seriously dunno why i wrote that in the 1st place.....oh wells....haha.....

sometimes its really amusing, as well as a wonder, to see how much the ppl around u can actually change. haha

2007-04-15T05:41:00.000-07:00

today didnt noe why so restless and slpy during service....zzz... and now my body is feeling very wierd....haha

exams are in 2 weeks time....haven really started studying...must start tmr already..haha

ppl say that christianity is a religion...but i really beg to differ....yes...christianity may be a religion, but it is juz human terms. it is not a religion. and i dun feel like elaborating on it anws

2007-04-11T03:43:00.000-07:00

ytd i finished watching get backers, which was quite a nice anime. i especially like those parts where ginji becomes this cute little form..haha so cute....i think a few of my fav characters are kazuki and akabane...haha(anws i dun think u guys noe wat im talking abt anws..haha)
well, today i did my listening compre for chinese. this listening compre will be used for the mye and my prelims(eeks).hah..i hope i will get like 8/10 correct atleast..but in any case it is in jesus' hands already..so ya.....im not gonna think abt it and bother abt it anymore... haha

come to think of it, time do pass really fast....im already in sec 4 and its the o lvls yr for me...oh wells....haha

2007-04-08T09:04:00.000-07:00

jere wants me to blog...haha...so i have to blog since he keeps on askign me to blog...haha

well...today didnt go to church cuz i thought i had alot of hw to do...but realised that i did not have that much....dratz..haha...guess i will juz buy the msg cd for this week and listen. at 6pm i went to sams place to learn long chuan....long chuan not an easy song...(i think?) haha....considering its a grade 9 song....i shld be hard....if not it wun live up its reputation for being a grade 9 song.....and today xq wasnt being herself at all....i hope she will cheer up..the only thing i can do now is to pray for her i guess...hah

2007-04-07T07:50:00.000-07:00

hah...this is my 1st post.....i seriously do not know wat to blog abt...lol
(juz the thought process which u can juz ignore)

wat pastor preached today was really awesome. watever situation that ure in, watever issues/problems/troubles that u are facing, juz touch the grace of god juz like the woman who had the issue of blood for 12yrs.
during these 12 yrs, she spent all her money on physicians to treat her problem but not only did she get better, the problem got worse. when she heared about jesus, she believed that she would be healed if she is able to touch the hem of jesus' garments. she then pressed in and touched the hem of jesus' garment and in an instant, the fountain of her blood dried up and she was completely healed.
the hem of the garment is atually blue in colour. blue, which speaks of grace. but this story does not only limit to healing. watever the problem that ure facing, touch and seek His grace and Him. if u think that ure problem is too small for Him, ure wrong. if God actually takes time to number the hairs on ur head(mat 10:3o) , how will he not take care of the problem ure facing?